Thursday, September 17, 2015


Oh I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. C but I cannot give your dying child a blood transfusion even if that's the only thing that'll save him. You see, that medical procedure is completely against my religious beliefs. Tell you what though. I'll gladly pray with you, or on your behalf in case you're not an HDA (highly deluded asshole) as I am.

And don't fret. In fact we should, even now, rejoice. For if your child lives then we have much to be happy about. And if he dies then it can only be that my imaginary superfriend has bestowed upon your precious one the honor and privilege of an early admission to his sumptuous estate in the clouds where unending bliss is the status quo. So wipe that dumbfounded look off your faces and sing a song of joy with me.

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