Thursday, March 31, 2016

Sic

For the second time this year God has sicced his army of microscopic creations on me. Only a genius could come up with such an insidious way to torture and annihilate. Indeed how can it not be that among the best ways to destroy an enemy is to unleash a flood of invisible self-replicating mercenaries upon them? So much to learn about the art of war from this sadistic, bloodthirsty deity.

Hail

Superman could've saved the girl who ended up being beheaded by a lunatic. But he didn't.. And no, Superman wasn't somewhere else foiling a bank heist, being tortured with a lump of kryptonite by some nemesis of his, or helping his favored football team half a world away win a match. He was right there between the girl and the cleaver-wielding man. So what did he do? As the knife came down he moved aside to let the blade slice off her head.

His ways are mysterious; his plans for the planet inscrutable. All we can do is praise the all-good, all-loving, all-powerful invisible savior. Heil, mein F├╝hrer!